Caytlyn Hall
April 29, 2014
English 3060J
Growing Up With Young Siblings
When
I think of moments that have defined my life I usually think of big moments.
For example going to college, what major I choose, what my home life was like
etc. It wasn’t until I reached college that I realized my youngest siblings
have really shaped me into who I am today. I have flaws and I cannot honestly
tell you who I am or even whom I want to be, but I know because of them my life
has been changed in a way that could not have happened without them.
Childhood
Since
I was 5 years old it had always been my brother and I, he was 5 years younger
than me. Although my mother was young when she had us, 17 with me and 22 with
my brother, I always assumed it would be just the two of us growing up together.
The relationship between my brother and I was what I would consider normal. He
was an annoying little brother and I wanted nothing to do with him. None of my
friends had younger siblings, most of them had older, so I didn’t have anything
to compare my relationship with Drew to. This had always been the case until I
was about 13 and my mom had become pregnant with my little sister Izabella,
Izzy for short. I had never been more excited for anything, I had been around
my mom’s friends babies all my life and I couldn’t wait to be around one all
the time and get to be a big sister to a girl. I thought it would be so much
more fun than being a big sister to my brother because we had little in common.
May 16, 2007 came and my mom went into labor. I still remember her
waking me up at 6 AM to go to the hospital with her. I was there all day until
she finally had her; I even stayed in the room while she delivered. I remember
sitting in the room waiting, it felt like days that we were in there. I roamed
the halls with friends who’s parents worked at the hospital and happened to be
there too. Until finally I got a call that it was happening. I was scared to be
close to the bed while it was going on; from the look my dad had on his face
while he held my mom’s hand standing behind the bed it was, not somewhere I
wanted to be. I instead stood behind the monitor next to my mom’s bed. It
seemed like it lasted no time at all, I was anxious. Until there were
complications, her head was stuck and it was making it difficult on my mom to
push her out. Luckily it was taken care of and she came out in no time. It was
the most traumatizing experience for
my then 14-year-old self, but I have never been more in love with something so
small in my entire life.
My
parents were still young when they had Izzy; they are still growing up and
figuring out parenting, both only 31. At this point Drew and I had been growing
up alongside her and my dad, spending a lot of time with my aunts and Grandma
and Grandpa. So by the time Izzy came around I was old enough to take on the
responsibility of taking care of her and Drew. At the time I hated it. Thankful
for getting to play around with a little sister and have my friends over to
experience it as well, but resentful for not getting to go places and hang out
with my friends as much as they all got to do. D.H Sailor states that
first-born children are often surrogates for parents. They are caregivers,
models, and teachers and there is a greater power and status position in the
relationship between the younger siblings and the oldest. The difference
becomes more pronounced as the age gap increases (Sailor, 2009). I
definitely felt more power over my youngest siblings. I felt like their mother
most of the time because I was always with them. Once at the grocery store I
was holding Izzy and a women in line asked how old she was, thinking I was her
mother. I quickly looked at my mom and asked so she would realize that she
wasn’t my kid. 
High school
Once
high school came Izzy was only a few months old but I was completely obsessed
with her. That summer after she was born was spent helping my mom take care of
her and watching her when my parents wanted to go have dinner. Things stayed
this way until I was 16. After that I was granted more freedom to come and go
as I pleased because I had my drivers license and a car. I didn’t need my
parents to drive me around anymore so they had a harder time telling me I could
not go somewhere. I was still not allowed to do as much as my friends, I still
had to take care of both my brother and sister when my parents wanted to do
something. I would take Izzy to football games and out to eat with my friends
and I. Once as I was walking down the hill to cheer at a football game Izzy and
a young girl, probably in elementary school, stopped me she asked if Izzy was
my daughter. I was shocked, I was wearing my cheerleading uniform and Izzy was
about 3 at the time.
One morning during my junior year I was awake at
6:30 getting ready for school. My mom came into my room and sat on my bed, I
immediately knew something strange was going on. I asked her what she was doing
and her response was absolutely horrifying. “I just peed on a stick,” she said.
Obviously I took that as she had just taken a pregnancy test. I stared at her
blankly as my heart completely sank. That may seem like an awful thing to say
but I was not the least bit excited. All I could think about was myself at this
moment. How was this going to affect me? Will I have to help take care of
another baby my last two years of high school? Izzy was finally getting older,
only 2 but I was dealing with less responsibility than before, now another one?
Looking back I was being so selfish, bringing another child into the world was
supposed to be a good thing! A few moments later my mom handed me the test and
told me I needed to look at it and tell her the results, I instantly rejected
but later agreed after she insisted. As I looked at this positive pregnancy
test my eyes welled up with tears I handed it to my mom telling her I wasn’t
sure what it said and went to the bathroom. At that moment I wasn’t crying
tears of anger nor was I mad at my mom. I realized how special Izzy was to me
and I couldn’t wait to have another sibling. 
On May 24, 2010 Lillian was born,
Lilly for short. This time I did not accompany my mom in the delivery room
instead I was watching Izzy and Drew. Just like with Izzy I was completely in
love with this tiny being and I couldn’t be more excited.
Lilly was born the
summer before my senior year of high school. That whole year was spent living
up my last days of high school while still trying to build a relationship with
her before I went to college. I had always wanted to go far away to college,
leave my small hometown and all of its residents. To start over and have a
different life, but once I started to apply for schools I couldn’t have felt more
differently. I had 3 younger siblings; they were 12, 3, and 1. They were
growing up and I was going to college and would miss all of it. Angelica says
that relationships extend beyond the home and can come from interactions from
peers and on the playground. Negative and hostile sibling relationships can be
linked to aggressive behaviors (Angelica, 2014). I didn’t want these things to
shape my siblings, I wanted to make sure they were doing the right things and
making good decisions. This thought is what persuaded me to choose Ohio
University, a school only 40 minutes away from my home. Close in distance and
still far enough from everyone and everything I wanted nothing else to do with.
I was afraid that I would miss everything and lose that close relationship that
I had with them.
I find myself
going home often to visit my family and getting homesick more often. In high
school I was always aware of the fact that I had siblings and the
responsibilities that came along with being so much older than them. I was
annoyed and sometimes angry about it keeping me from doing what I wanted. I
know that was selfish of me then, now I recognize it as a huge blessing. I love
my little brother and sisters more than I love anything else in this world.
My sisters facetime
me and draw me pictures to give to me when I visit them and they cheer me up
when I am having a bad day. If anything I have learned more from them growing
up then I will ever be able to teach them. I could never imagine my life
without them. They have made me into a patient person and have been the best
form of birth control! I am closer to my family now since I am always going
home to visit and calling my mom
to talk and see how everyone is. I enjoy life more now because of them and I always
want to set a good example. Knowing I have little ones looking up to me
encourages me to think clearly before doing something that could hinder my
influence on them. I am very hesitant about everything that I do; I want
everything that I do to be something to be looked up to and to be an example
for my siblings.
My
sisters have changed my view on family as a whole. I cherish every minute that I
spend with them. “There is a certain unity among siblings that helps them
rely on each other, and depend on each other (Pepper, 2007).” Although I feel
completely changed by all three of my siblings, Izzy has had the most impact on
my life. I was lucky enough to be there for her youngest years and shape how
she grew up. Lilly is still young and learning and I do have a part in her life
like I did in Izzy’s but it’s not quite the same. The age difference with drew
in me was small so we grew together and that connects us in a different way. Izzy
has been my mini me since she was born. I was there in the hospital for her
birth. I will always feel like she’s the closest to me because I was so
involved in her life as she was mine. I am a leader and a role model to my
siblings and I want to act like it constantly. I am cautious with my actions
and I am more caring than I think I would be without them. My siblings have
helped me grow into the women I am today and I want them to be proud to have a
sister like me.
References
Angelica. "The Sibling Relationship:
Challenging but Powerful." Sibling Relationship: Challenging but
Powerful | Simple Kids. Simplekids.net, 1 Jan. 2014. Web. 28 Apr. 2014.
<http://simplekids.net/the-sibling-relationship/>.
Pepper, Shevach. "Sibling Relationships -
The Importance and Benefits." Sibling Relationships - The Importance
and Benefits. SparkNET, 5 Dec. 2007. Web. 28 Apr. 2014.
<http://ezinearticles.com/?Sibling-Relationships---The-Importance-and-Benefits&id=867167>.
Sailor, D.h. "Influences on Sibling
Relationships." Influences on Sibling Relationships | Education.com.
N.p., 4 May 2009. Web. 24 Apr. 2014.
<http://www.education.com/reference/article/influences-sibling-relationships/>.
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