First Draft - Growing up with Alcohol

Kayla Riley

                                                            First Draft

            For my paper I want to focus on how my mother has helped to change my outlook on life and how to act. I have always been very close with my mother. She is a lot younger than all of my friend’s parents, being only 43 with three kids all in there twenties. One of the things I’ve always respected most about her is that even though she started her family young she found a way to support her family and raise three kids right. Don’t get me wrong my father was a big part of this as well but this paper isn’t entirely about him.  My mother is a very strong willed and confident woman. She is the type of women who sets her mind to something and achieves it. I have never seen her give up on anything and she is never satisfied with “just settling” always strives to do better for herself. She started off as a young bartender with three kids and husband in the police force. Wasn’t until I was around 4 years old that my mother decided to become a police officer as well. You’re probably thinking “whoa two police officer parents must have been strict in that house.” Which wasn’t necessarily true, yeah we were punished and grounded a majority of our teenage years but for some reason having both our parents as police officers made my brothers and myself think we had this immunity; a feeling as if we were above the law. Have to admit there were times when we got in trouble and immediately turned to mommy or daddy to make it go away and it always did. So, for that we were truly lucky.

            In order to get more into this I have to tell you about my siblings as teenagers. There is a saying that goes something like the oldest paves the way for the other siblings and this held so much truth in our family. My oldest brother is my best friend and I love him to death but he was the child that was every parent’s nightmare. I am 4 years younger than him so I have seen just about everything he has done and learned what was punishable by basically eternal grounding. For example, when I was in 7^th grade he was a sophomore in high school; he had already began drinking and was turning into that rebellious teenage stage where he thought he could get away with anything. He never has been strong student and to this day school didn’t prove to work out for him, so in high school his grades always tended to slack. One night, it was a Thursday night on a school night; my parents went to band practice (Cleveland Pipes and Drums). They had decided to stay out a little longer for some kind of football game was on that night. Danny (my oldest brother) had decided to throw a party and invite over all his friends that night to come and drink. Knowing how my father is and how mad I had seen him get before about Danny drinking I asked him why he was doing this he told me “I got my report card yesterday, I am going to be grounded anyways might as well make it worth it.” This was when I saw a whole new outlook to my young life.

            After this a series of events took place. My brother Colin was taken home by the police in 8^th grade for drinking, Danny was grounded every other week because if he was already grounded what else could they do “reground him?”, Colin was hospitalized and received an underage, Danny received his first underage, our house was the go to house in high school for “Riley House Parties” (there was even a face book page for tall the people who liked to attend) and many more stories I don’t even have time to explain. My brothers were the reason I was introduced to drinking and were the ones influencing me to be as dumb as possible. Safe to say our parents hated us.  We were punished for everything we did. These weren’t just any groundings either I am talking all summer long stuck inside the house forced to do what seemed like slave labor to make up for what we did. People joked and would call us “CinerRiley” because of the chores and punishments we faced.

            As I said my parents were very young so it is not like they didn’t drink or do anything except punish us. They had their share of fun. Every family event or social outing was always surrounded by alcohol. I was the little 5 year old who used to charge my parents friends a dollar to go retrieve them a beer out of the cooler. Alcohol and partying as always had been around me. I grew up learning how not to get caught, what would get me caught, and how to get out of getting caught drinking.

            When coming to OU I had knowledge about the “party school” rep.  Some people fight it and say that’s a misconception but we don’t always do a good job of proving that wrong. Things such as a well known fest season and videos posted from students such as this one : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vf0y_La_ij0  , do not help make us look any better. I do not think there is anything wrong with being apart of a party school as long as you get your work done. Just because things happen out of class does not mean our academics are treated differently because we like to have fun. I enjoy being apart of a campus that can have a good time.

            I was not worried coming here because from my past experiences I knew how to take care of myself. I considered my high school years as my training in a way to be able to come here and keep up with everyone else. Some of my friends I have met in school had no idea how to take care of themselves. They all faced the law at some point and were completely clueless when it came to what they could and could not do when out. I have to admit that my parents were the reason I have not gotten in any trouble.  At the time our month long groundings seemed cruel and unfair but they shaped me to be the person I am. I am happy that I was punished because it gave me a level head and taught me how to do the right thing in certain situations. A big reason for me trying to be on my best behavior is because I know how it felt to disappoint my parents and I never wanted to do that again.

            From this you can see I kind of had a pretty bad attitude coming into school. I was cocky and thought I was cool because I already was experienced when it came to “partying” and saw myself as someone who liked to have a good time but could get away with anything. Drinking was a big part of my social life and majority of my activities with family and friends revolved around alcohol. Wasn’t until this past year I finally realized it was time to take it easy.

            Within the past year or so the strongest woman I know got weak, my mother. Our family purchased a bar, which had always been ideal since we were the fun family who everyone wanted to have a good time with so we figured why not stop the house parties and make some money from our drinking. But, my mother began drinking a significant amount more than she used too. She let alcohol take over her life and started to lose touch with whom she is. It was a hard year and having to deal with seeing someone you’ve looked up two your whole life, as a completely different person was one of the hardest things I had ever experienced.  I was not patient with her and took it the hardest out of my whole family. The day she finally called me and told me that she would be “going away for awhile”, meaning off to rehab, I responded “good” and she immediately busted into tears and apologized for everything. Sounds too simple but right then and there I forgave her for everything she put us through and knew my mother would be back soon. Like I stated before once she sets her mind to something she will achieve it so she took help very seriously and is now doing better than ever and even up for a promotion at work.

            Since she got help our house dynamic has changed. There no longer is any alcohol inside and we no longer drink there. Family parties only consist of maybe one casual drink but otherwise they are cut short and we are out of there early. Owning the bar has turned to strictly business and hardly any fun. All these adjustments are made for her and we respect them in order to make sure she never feels uncomfortable. It’s almost as if we are babying her now but that doesn’t bother us. She has shown so much strength and dedication that I once again see the woman I have always cherished.

            This all opened my eyes to the “party school” lifestyle. I saw how much I hated the way my mom acted and promised myself I would never let myself get to that level. This year I stopped being the sneaky party girl role I had been playing. My friends always titled me as the “mom” of the group making sure that everyone is taken care of or stays out of trouble. With my experiences I have started to open my eyes to the importance of focusing on work and not just fun. Yeah, it is okay to let loose every now and then but current goal is to make my parents proud and put my schoolwork first.