First Draft-growing up with younger siblings

Caytlyn Hall

April 23, 2014

English 3060J

            When I think of moments that have defined my life I usually think of big moments. For example going to college, what major I choose, what my home life was like etc. It wasn’t until I reached college that I realized my youngest siblings have really shaped me into who I am today. I have faults and I cannot honestly tell you who I am or even whom I want to be, but I know because of them my life has been changed in a way that could not have happened without them.

Childhood

            Since I was five years old it had always been my brother and I, he was five years younger than me. Although my mother was young when she had us, 17 with me and 22 with my brother, I always assumed it would be just the two of us growing up together. The relationship between my brother and I was what I would consider normal. He was an annoying little brother and I wanted nothing to do with him. None of my friends had younger siblings, all older, so I didn’t have anything to compare my relationship with Drew to. Up until I was 13 this had always been the case, at that time my mother had become pregnant with my little sister Izabella, Izzy for short. I had never been more excited for anything, I had been around my mom’s friends babies all my life and I couldn’t wait to be around one all the time and get to be a big sister to a girl. I thought it would be so much more fun than being a big sister to my brother because we had nothing in common. When May 16^, 2007 rolled around and I still remember my mom waking me up at 6 AM to go to the hospital with her. I was there all day until se finally had her; I even stayed in the room while she delivered. It was the most traumatizing experience for my then 14-year-old self, but I have never been more in love with something so small in my entire life.

            My mother was still so young when she had Izzy; she was still growing up and figuring out parenting, she was only 31. At this point Drew and I had been growing up alongside her and my dad, spending a lot of time with my aunts and Grandma and Grandpa. So by the time Izzy came around I was old enough to take on the responsibility of taking care of her and Drew. At the time I hated it. Thankful for getting to play around with a little sister and have my friends over to experience it as well, but resentful for not getting to go places and hang out with my friends as much as they all got to do. D.H Sailor it states that the first-born children are often surrogates for parents. They are caregivers, models, and teachers and there is a greater power and status position in the relationship between the younger siblings and the oldest. The difference becomes more pronounced as the age gap increases (Sailor, 2009). I definitely felt more power over my youngest siblings. I felt like their mother most of the time and often got asked if I was because my youngest sister and I looked so much alike.

High school

            Once high school hit Izzy was only a few months old but I was already obsessed with her. That summer was spent helping my mom take care of her and watching her when my parents wanted to go out. Things stayed this way until I was 16. After that I was granted more freedom to come and go as I pleased because I had my drivers license and my own car. I was still not allowed to do as much as my friends because I had the responsibility of taking care of both my brother and sister. One morning of my junior year I was awake at 6:30 getting ready for school. My mom came into my room and sat on my bed, I immediately knew something strange was going on. I asked her what she was doing and her response was absolutely horrifying. “I just peed on a stick,” she said. Obviously I took that as she had just taken a pregnancy test. I stared at her blankly my heart completely sunk, that may seem like an awful thing to say but I was not the least bit excited. All I could think about was myself at this moment. How was this going to affect me? Will I have to take on another sibling to help take care of my last two years of high school? Izzy was finally growing up, two now, and I didn’t have to help out with her as much, now another one. Looking back I was being so selfish bringing another child into the world was supposed to be a good thing! A few moments later my mom handed me the test and told me I needed to look at it and tell her the results, I instantly rejected then agreed after she insisted. As I looked at this positive pregnancy test my eyes welled up with tears I handed it to my mom telling her I wasn’t sure what it said and went to the bathroom. At that moment I wasn’t crying tears of anger nor was I mad at my mom. I realized how special Izzy was to me and I couldn’t wait to have another sibling. May 24, 2010 Lillian was born, Lilly for short. This time I did not accompany my mom in the delivery room instead I was watching Izzy and Drew. Just like with Izzy I was completely in love with this tiny being and I couldn’t be more excited.

College

            I had always wanted to go far away to college, leave my small hometown and all of its ridiculous residents. Start over and have a different life, but once I started to apply for schools I couldn’t have felt different. I had 3 younger siblings; they were 12, 3, and 1. They were growing up and I was going to college and would miss all of it. That thought is what persuaded me to choose Ohio University, a school only 40 minutes away from my home. Close in distance and still far enough from everyone and everything I wanted nothing else to do with. I find myself going home often to visit my family and getting homesick even more. In high school I was always aware of the fact that I had siblings and the responsibilities that came along with being so much older than them. I was annoyed and sometimes angry about it keeping me from doing hat I wanted. I know that was selfish of me then, now I know it was a huge blessing. I love my little sisters more than I love anything else in this world. They facetime me and draw me pictures to give to me when I visit them and they cheer me up when I am having a bad day. If anything I have learned more from them growing up then I will ever be able to teach them. I could never imagine my life without them. They have made me into a patient person who doesn’t want children for a long time. I am closer to my family now because I am always going home to visit. Something I never thought would happen. I enjoy life more now because of them and always want to set a good example. Knowing I have little ones looking up to me encourages me to thinking clearly before doing something stupid that could hinder my influence on them.

            My sisters have changed my view on family as a whole. I cherish ever minute I spend with them.

References

Sailor, D.h. "Influences on Sibling Relationships." Influences on Sibling Relationships | Education.com. N.p., 4 May 2009. Web. 24 Apr. 2014. <http://www.education.com/reference/article/influences-sibling-relationships/>.